RocketSauce in Your Water? DEA Say A-OK!

Thanks Nancy! Sorry for taking license with the title. Should read:
RE: DEA Won't Remove Rocket Fuel From Our Tap Water
-But first this...
~Surprise Motherfuckers! The answer is YES, THEY REALLY DO WANT TO KILL US! Once we've been completely drained of all we've got, that is. The first full-fledged, undisguised Tyrant/Emperor of these United States is still in control of all our watchdog agencies, not to mention our media, and he is one evil, soulless son-of-a-bitch!
Its clear now that so long as the Bush regime is in place, the horrors will never stop mounting. Do you believe that this administration is interested in or capable of doing the right thing in any instance whatsoever??? Do you think this economic collapse and bailout proposal is legit? I'd say it's probably just about as legitimate as the official 9/11 Commission Report.
By the way, if you were one of the lucky ones who spent some time around ground zero in NYC helping out your fellow man once the EPA assured you that the air quality was A-OK, guess what?? YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED!! Ha!! That shit is hilarious, dawg!!!
Health problems?? What the fuck you think this is, a goddamn socialist resort or something? Have the good manners to shut the fuck up while you fuck off and die you fuckin bum!
And hey Mom and Dad! Just remember, stay true to your values, and support George Bush right to the bitter end. It's all part of God's plan, and as long as you don't question it, the blessings will continue to flow. You might even say they'll be flowin' like tap water!
Everything is A-OK, the EPA say! Meanwhile the big brains at the Pentagon have recovered enough from their HUGE scare on 9/11 to finally start talkin shit again. Yep. I was over there the other day to see if they ever got that huge-ass hole from that airplane thingy fixed as yet. I figured any tiny bit of progress to date in the rebuilding effort might give me some hope, ya know? Anyway, I saw it was fixed, and I was feelin somethin almost like pride or maybe patriotism flare up in my chest. Thinking back on it now I think I probly had a proximity freedom high, what with being so close to the nerve center of America and all.
Anyway, I was lookin up at the sky, sort of a one man deterent in case they might be need of a warning shout to protect the vice-president from any potential aerial threats, when I bumped into this army dude who was hardly watching where he was going either. He'd been sorta high too, I guess, and busy with walking around the premises dropping odd bits of metal scrap down his pantleg on to the lawn, and nonchalantly whistling "Let the Eagle Soar" while he kept at it.
The whole thing kinda killed my freedom buzz, and I probably shouldn'a snapped at him like I did. But wtf, you know? Anyway, at least I found out the Pentagon had got it's groove back. Cuz, I was like: "Watch it man! Stop droppin all that shit all over. It's probly gonna end up in my damn drinking water along with all the perchlorate you prick."
And he was like:
'Perchlorate? From us????? Sheeeeeeeeeeeit. You crazy. Don't come around here talkin that mess. You must be drinkin tap water you dumb motherfucker. Heh. Go hump a tree, ya damn hippie! Better hurry 'fore we burn the last one down. I think I see a terrorist hidin behind it. Heh heh, Yeah! How you like my Rocket Sauce now, beatch??!!!!!"
So let that be a reminder, Mom and Dad, don't let the liberal terrorists in Hollywood dissuade you from your values. Insist on using perchlorate-tainted tapwater when mixing your newborn infant's baby formula. The EPA says it's A-OK! Your little one's primary source of food'll taste great served from a US government approved BPA-laden plastic babybottle. Don't worry, the BPA is only a few parts per million, and it only gets really dangerous when you heat it.
What's that? You're baby's finnicky and doesn't like her biologically dead food to taste cold and dead? Well, that's ok, go ahead and heat it up then, I'm sure it'll be fine. Just throw it in the microwave if you want. It's even faster that way.
Say Gang, didja ever wonder what happens when that rocket fuel in your glass of water combines with the BPA, the chlorine, the fluoride, the unknown cocktail of pharmaceuticals, and the trace amounts of lead and mercury, all of which are individually potentially lethal?
No?
Me neither. :) I don't know what those goddamn peace-loving, hummus eating, enviro-nazis are blabbing about!
Not to worry, friends, beer'll be cheaper than water soon anyway. With the USDA poised to mandate genetic modification of all federally subsidized crops, its only a matter of time before American hops and barley join American corn on the GMO list. Sure it'll be unsafe for human consumption, but who eats that shit anyway? It'll still be ok for booze, right? Shit man, it'll have to be. How else are they gonna keep us dumb and preoccupied and focused on football scores while they finish robbing us of our lives and our futures?
~ill
-now back to your regularly scheduled bulletin...
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------From: nancy.... STRENGTH THROUGH PEACEDate: Sep 23, 2008 12:25 PM
WASHINGTON — The Environmental Protection Agency has decided there's no need to rid drinking water of a toxic rocket fuel ingredient that has fouled public water supplies around the country.EPA reached the conclusion in a draft regulatory document not yet made public but reviewed Monday by The Associated Press.The ingredient, perchlorate, has been found in at least 395 sites in 35 states at levels high enough to interfere with thyroid function and pose developmental health risks, particularly for babies and fetuses, according to some scientists.The EPA document says that mandating a clean-up level for perchlorate would not result in a "meaningful opportunity for health risk reduction for persons served by public-water systems."The conclusion, which caps years of dispute over the issue, was denounced by Democrats and environmentalists who accused EPA of caving to pressure from the Pentagon."This is a widespread contamination problem, and to see the Bush EPA just walk away is shocking," said Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., who chairs the Senate's environment committee.Lenny Siegel, director of the Center for Public Environmental Oversight in Mountain View, Calif., added: "This is an unconscionable decision not based upon science or law but on concern that a more stringent standard could cost the government significantly."The Defense Department used perchlorate for decades in testing missiles and rockets, and most perchlorate contamination is the result of defense and aerospace activities, congressional investigators said last year.The Pentagon could face liability if EPA set a national drinking water standard that forced water agencies around the country to undertake costly clean-up efforts. Defense officials have spent years questioning EPA's conclusions about the risks posed by perchlorate.The Pentagon objected strongly Monday to the suggestion that it sought to influence EPA's decision."We have not intervened in any way in EPA's determination not to regulate perchlorate. If you read their determination, that's based on criteria in the Safe Drinking Water Act," Paul Yaroschak, Pentagon deputy director for emerging contaminants, said in an interview.Yaroschak said the Pentagon has been working for years to clean up perchlorate at its facilities. He also contended that the Pentagon wasn't the source of as much perchlorate contamination as once believed, noting that it also comes from fireworks, road flares and fertilizer.Benjamin Grumbles, EPA's assistant administrator for water, said in a statement that "science, not the politics of fear in an election year, will drive our final decision.""We know perchlorate in drinking water presents some degree of risk, and we're committed to working with states and scientists to ensure public health is protected and meaningful opportunities for reducing risk are fully considered," Grumbles said.Grumbles said the EPA expected to seek comment and take final action before the end of the year. The draft document was first reported Monday by the Washington Post.Perchlorate is particularly widespread in California and the Southwest, where it's been found in groundwater and in the Colorado River, a drinking-water source for 20 million people. It's also been found in lettuce and other foods.In absence of federal action, states have acted on their own. In 2007, California adopted a drinking water standard of 6 parts per billion. Massachusetts has set a drinking water standard of 2 parts per billion.